January 20
Genesis 37
Psalm 12:1-4
Proverbs 3:5-6
Matthew 13:1-23
Generational Patterns
“Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his sons because he was the son of his old age; and he made him a varicolored tunic. And his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, and so they hated him and could not speak to him in peace.” Genesis 37:3-4 LSB
Earlier this week, we read how Rebekah and Isaac each had a favorite son. Rebekah favored Jacob and Isaac favored his twin brother, Esau. This resulted in deception that caused enmity and jealousy in the family leading to Esau threatening to kill his brother and Jacob running away for 20 years. Jacob did not learn from their mistakes. He repeated these bad parenting patterns with his own children. Jacob had 12 sons and a daughter, but he favored Joseph who was born to his most loved wife, Rachel. He made no secret of his favoritism and even gave Joseph a special coat that was a constant reminder to his other children of their father’s preference. Jacob no doubt learned this behavior from his parents so he was just doing what he had been taught. Can we hold him responsible for repeating the same patterns when parenting his own children? How can we expect people to act differently or do better than what they have been taught?
Following David and Solomon, we find a series of kings in Israel. Most were evil, but there were a few interspersed through the years that were good and did what was pleasing to God. It is interesting to note that some of the most evil kings were followed by sons that were good kings and some of the good kings were followed by sons that were evil. This confirms that while it is certainly easier to continue the patterns that we have been taught, it is possible to turn away from our evil ways and turn to God. When we do that, He changes our behavior. We are not bound by what our parents did. We can choose to live differently. We can decide that it stops with us. We do not have to repeat the patterns and pass on those negative behaviors to our children. We can learn from their mistakes. With the power of the Holy Spirit working in us, we can develop new patterns that are positive and healthy. This will not come naturally. We have to recognize the negative habits and consciously ask God to help us replace them with good parenting skills. We are responsible for our actions.
It is also good to remember that we cannot control the choices our children make as adults. We do the best we can to teach them to love the Lord. We give them a firm foundation and try to instill in them the things that will lead to being godly adults, but then they have to choose for themselves the life they will live. We cannot take responsibility for their actions once they become adults. We pray for them and help them in any way we can and then leave them in the Lord’s hands. We are responsible for the choices we make, but we cannot control the actions of others no matter how much we love them. The best thing we can do is pray for them and let God work.
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